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FINA and the Speedo LZR Racer,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
It would appear that FINA,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the international governing body of swimming,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], has finally realized what the fashion world has known since the first caveman had the hem on his saber-tooth tiger skins adopted so he could quickly leap for that nearest antelope unencumbered. That which you put on your is sometimes as essential as that which you place in the body.
On Friday, FINA issued a way edict of sorts, banning the type of full-body swimsuits that include some types of Speedo's LZR Racer,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which some think give competitive swimmers an unfair edge because they use NASA-developed technology to decrease friction. Michael Phelps wore one to break records in the Beijing Olympics.
To add insult to style injury, FINA stipulates that men's suits will be to extend no more than knee to waist and women's suits from shoulder to knee. (Heaven forbid anyone dare result in the humble patella the least bit more aerodynamic.) The best part may be the requirement that swimsuits be made only from "textiles." No longer can an average swimmer depend on swim trunks crafted from the souls of sea anemones or butterfly wings dipped in polyurethane.
Let's be honest,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Phelps is a bong-smoking human dolphin who could probably have won exactly the same medals wearing some of those metal-helmeted atmospheric diving suits, but now the door seems available on banning "performance-enhancing" apparel, which side the style police turn next?
Batman,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Submit Your Tights The following logical step gets Batman,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Spider-Man as well as their costume-clad ilk to show within their tights. It is too simple to strike fear into the hearts of criminals when you are sporting Underoos and a pair of bat ears. A true crime fighter will be able to cleanup Gotham wearing an Ed Hardy "Love Kills Slowly" foil-screen T-shirt, True Religion Big Stitch jeans and a scowl.
Spanx? No Thanx! While we're at it, why don't you go on and outlaw Spanx at the same time? This type of slimming, smoothing undergarments is made to swathe a number of body areas and includes an insidious ace in the hole: the Hide Sleek full body suit. Spanx can be used by women the world over for one reason and one reason only: to gain competitive edge on their less svelte-seeming sisters within the battle to draw in the attentions in men. Let's level the arena by letting everything spend time. (Obviously well the same for that various range of man-Spanx available on the market - but is a woman really going to be fooled by the fake six-pack abs provided by Equmen, the man girdle flying off the shelves at Saks Fifth Avenue.
Trash the "Tummy Tuck" Jeans Less obvious compared to full-body Ace bandages above, and for that reason maybe even more dangerous,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], jeans that provide to lift and shape that generous figure into something a bit less so,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], would certainly qualify. A very common brand trumpets it thusly at its website: "Not Your Daughter's Jeans are here to flatten your tummy, lift your butt and allow you to wear one size smaller." Within the fight for that scarce natural resources which are loving,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], supportive, appearance-obsessed life-partners, there isn't any better competitive advantage than looking like you're wearing your daughter jeans.
KO the Codpiece It might not will be in vogue since Shakespeare (or perhaps in "Vogue" because the last fashion issue) however it bears mentioning the full-frontal fakery that is the codpiece (essentially an athletic cup minus the athletics) would be a verboten accessory under FINA's reasoning. Anyone who scoffs thinking of the codpiece as performance-enhancing apparel probably hasn't seen the legendary Tom Jones in concert. (You didn't think those ladies were howling to hear "What's New Pussycat?" did you?)
Came from here it isn't a leap towards the banning of underwire bras, belts, high-heel shoes and power ties. Start banning clothing that gives any type of edge against your competitors and also the slippery suit leads down a slippery slope to the stage that people could be right back to wearing saber-tooth skins and chasing antelope again.
And then we'd suffer from PETA.
-- Adam Tschorn
Follow the Image section on Twitter Top, Michael Phelps begins the very first leg of the 800 freestyle relay in the Beijing Olympics. Credit: Robert Gauthier / La Times. Center, Christian Bale as Batman in "The Dark Knight." Credit: Stephen Vaughan / Warner Bros. Bottom, a codpiece-wearing model at Alexander McQueen Fall 2009 fashion show in Milan. Credit: Peter Stigter
swimming has always been an activity that you can now do, alls you needed would be a suit that costed maybe $100 in making these suits that are sometimes over $500 celebrate it unfair to those who do it and may no longer aford it, for any suit you are able to only wear once your twice. And Phelps banded up for that! He wore the lzr in the olynpics because it would be a huge jump from lets say a fast skin, and everybody had it. HE wore the lzr and also got beat to show how much those upright polyurithan suits helped individuals who wore them. it had been unfair and ERIC should you knew a single thing about swimming and didnt only notice it since phelps was spotlighted at the olympic you know that.
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