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Men Won't Talk About Their Feelings Because they do not See The Point
There's a reason your man never gives greater than a blank stare when the conversation between you gets serious, and it's not because he's afraid to speak about his feelings. It is because he just doesn't see the point.
In studies in excess of 2,000 school-aged children, Dr. Amanda Rose of the University of Missouri has discovered boys and girls are fundamentally different when it comes to referring to their feelings. While girls love simply to yap at length about what's bothering them,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], boys tend to keep quiet -- and never because they're embarrassed; they just see it like a waste of time.
"For years, popular psychologists have insisted boys and men want to discuss their problems,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but they are held back by fears of embarrassment or appearing weak," Rose says in a statement. "However,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], whenever we asked young adults how talking about their problems would make them feel,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], boys didn't express angst or distress about discussing problems any more than girls. Instead,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], boys' responses suggest they just don't see talking about problems to be a particularly useful activity."
That's acceptable for school-aged boys,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but how about men that know better? Rose suggests their early aversion to referring to their feelings is one thing they carry with them into manhood: "Men might be more likely to think referring to problems will make the issues feel bigger and engaging in different activities will take their minds from the problem. Men may just not be coming from the same place his or her partners."
So if they're not gushing about their problems to their family and friends like we all do, how do men deal with their feelings? By keeping busy with activities that keep their mind off things,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], says Rose. Maybe this explains why your man spends a lot time in his shop/garage/man cave.
It's something positive men might be onto -- it seems a lot of us women might actually be over-talking our feelings and making ourselves type of crazy along the way. Females who talk their problems out too often are in danger of engaging in "excessive problem talk,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]," which in turn causes anxiety and stress. It is a classic case of completely obsessing over something that isn't that big of deal after which inevitably blowing it out of proportion.
Regardless of what, though,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], communication is key to any relationship and sharing feelings with your spouse,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], friends and family is generally a a valuable thing. Just remember to be respectful of other communication styles.
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