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Becoming the Men We Wanted to Marry
I home from the beach but continuing my internal voyage to my very own formative years,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], that have been the 1970 would be a natural-born feminist,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and Gloria Steinem words resonated.
A woman requires a man like a fish needs a bicycle.
At age 51,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I'd say that I definitely did that. I raised my kids and worked,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and all sorts of the while I kept searching for that strong,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], noble, together guy who had been surely my true soulmate and partner I was always disappointed using the actual men I became associated with.
Here things i now realize: I had been supposed to help create the person I wanted to marry.
I been rereading some old mythology,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which reminds us that men require the guidance of ladies (along with the guidance of older,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], wiser men) in order to develop.
I grew up in an era of a battle between your sexes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a battle for power,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], that seemed that either women could be powerful, or men could be, but not both.
But mythology tells us that empowerment comes from power women support and inspire men to be strong,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and the other way around.
Inside a true partnership,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], one partner might bring ambition as the other helps moderate that ambition and channel it in responsible ways.
However i grew up inside a world that seemed to explode before my young eyes, into a whole culture of unrestrained greed and excess and immediate gratification and lack of discipline. Why wasn anyone exerting judgment and wisdom and control?
And I wondering, today,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], if some of this huge explosion of reckless irresponsibility revolved around the Sexual Revolution, which,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], for many of us women was such a wonderful thing!
The Pill meant freedom to explore,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], freedom to try out multiple lovers, freedom to postpone commitment, freedom to take sex men? seriously. We're able to use men as sex objects,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], without having to bother investing in their human potential. Therefore we wondered why there were no good men available!
I in the process of trying to sort this out in what ways the innovations of my generation such as the Pill,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and credit cards,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and televised presidential campaigns us into focusing on the superficial and allowed us to grab immediate gratifications and thereby avoid becoming emotionally mature.
Take a look at this Slate article,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Sex is Cheap, which talks about the way the availability of sex has seemingly contributed to stunting the maturity nowadays young men. She has been a tutor,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], test prep coach and home school teacher for over thirty years. Leigh also teaches communication and relationship skills to couples and families. Leigh's current projects include Comprehending the People You like,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a series of "practical psychology" lessons for moms and dads and couples. Click HERE to go to Leigh's website and HERE for her Facebook page.
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